Back of the book blurb: With A Wolf at the Table, the prequel to his bestseller Running with Scissors, Augusten Burroughs re-creates the unspeakably terrifying relationship between a sociopathic father and a son yearning for unconditional love.
She is Too Fond of Books’ review: A Wolf at the Table is my first exposure to the work of Augusten Burroughs. I’ve neither read Running with Scissors (2002), nor seen the film (2006) based on the memoir. My understanding is that Running with Scissors focuses on the bond between Augusten Burroughs and his mother (“Deirdre”), much as A Wolf at the Table focuses on the lack of bond between the author and his father (“John”).
A Wolf at the Table is a raw portrait from the innocence of a child’s eye. Burroughs shares the exquisite details of his first memories:
Sitting in my high chair, I held a saltine cracker up to my eye and peered through one of the tiny holes, astonished that I could see so much through such a small opening. Everything on the other side of the kitchen seemed nearer when viewed through this little window.
The cracker was huge, larger than my hand. And through this pinprick hole I could see the world.
I brought the cracker to my lips, nibbled off the corners, and mashed the rest into a dry, salty dust. I clapped, enchanted.
This toddler’s joy at his homemade telescope soon gives way to despair when Burroughs realizes that the five words he hears nightly from his father, “very much I love you,” are spoken mechanically with no intrinsic emotion.
He is so starved for his father’s affections that Burroughs makes a card for him, hoping to win positive attention with words pasted from magazine advertisements: “Love. Belong. New. Exciting. Delicious. Father. Together. Happy. Welcome home!” This attempt is tossed to the side after little more than a cursory glance from John. When the 7-year-old child sees the casual but heart-felt love John gives the family dog, Burroughs tries to elicit a similar response by crafting a dog mask and crawling around the floor on all fours.
We see scores of examples of the young boy reaching out to his father, only to be angrily rebuffed or summarily ignored. Burroughs may be looking for any kind of love from his father; for his part, Burroughs continues to dole out unconditional love time and again.
At one point Burroughs sees that John has something of a split personality:
I thought of the few times we’d gone to the university together and how he’d taken me around and introduced me to his colleagues. He’d seemed like such a dad that I’d wondered what was wrong with me to always feel so suspicious of him. I remembered thinking how, in the light of day out in the world, my father was just like anybody’s father. But as soon as I was alone with him again, Dad was gone and dead was there in his place.
Riding back from the grocery store, I realized my father was two men – one he presented to the outside world, and one, far darker, that was always there, behind the face everybody else saw.
Burroughs suffered from chronic stomach aches as a child, likely brought on by nervousness in response to discord at home. His father had a constant psoriatic rash, with thin peeling skin which often flaked and bled. The metaphor of decay is further carried throughout the home, with a rotting deck, overgrown yard, and often bare cupboards.
Deirdre makes some attempt to protect Augusten Burroughs from his father’s wrath (at the worst), or to make peace and bring them together (in more benign times). Ultimately she also suffers from social phobias and leaves him to fend for himself:
I loved my mother most when she was locked behind her door, writing. Because I couldn’t have her. And because I never hugged my father, it was his embrace I sought most of all.
Where there is nothing, absolutely anything is possible. And this thrilled me. It gave me hope.
A Wolf at the Table is a quick read, but a disturbing read; I’m eager to read Running with Scissors to learn more about what forces continued to shape Burroughs during his adolescence. When we meet the author as an adult toward the end of Wolf, he seems to suffer mentally and physically. I hope that he is healthy and managing the scrutiny these books put on his past.
I have “Running With Scissors” on my shelf but unread. Interestingly, “A Wolf at the Table” was named in EW as the top 10 worst books of 2008. They called it a “bizarre, self-pitying and thoroughly unconvincing account of his putatively hateful father”. Ugh. Not really a glowing reference!
I know quite a few people that really enjoyed Running with Scissors though it too is supposed to be pretty disturbing so I’ve got to remember to tell them about this one. Thanks!
Wow. I had no idea this book was so dark. That example of the boy crawling around on the floor with a dog mask… how sad! I’m not sure I’d be able to read this one.
WOW — the saying “you can’t judge a book by its cover” certainly holds true with this one, doesn’t it? I have seen the book several times in the store – but had no idea it was as depressing as it is. Seeing how I just read The Bell Jar — another disturbing book, I think I will probably hold off on this one for a while.
I am anxious to hear your review of the sequel, Running with Scissors. I hope that there is some hope of light at the end of his very dark tunnel.
Running with Scissors is on my wishlist. I’ll have to put this one too. Thanks for the review. I didn’t know Running with Scissors is a sequel.
I didn’t like Running With Scissors, but most people did. I may have to read this one to finish up the story, though. Great review.
My review is scheduled in a couple of days. It’s interesting to see the different parts that struck us most to put in a review! But basic reaction is the same.
Disturbing indeed. I’ve not read Running With Scissors and maybe I’d start with that one. Thanks for the great review
I generally avoid these types of novels. I guess it’s the coward in me. I just don’t want to live this much pain. I know I should for the literary enrichment it may bring but I’m going to stick with good reviews like yours.
Sandy – that *is* interesting (the EW report). I don’t have a frame of reference, to look for inconsitencies compared to RUNNING WITH SCISSORS. Definitely self-pitying, and a lot of unresolved issues (my mention of the snippet into his life as an adult). I wonder what you’ll think when you pick it up off your shelf!
Ladytink – The refrain from Harry Chapin’s “Cat’s Cradle” comes to mind with this one … on steroids!
Ti – there are other very sad parts when Augusten is looking for affection, and downright cruel reactions by his father.
Molly – there was some contraversy surrounding RUNNING WITH SCISSORS. A family that plays a prominent role in the memoir sued the author/publisher saying it was untrue. Memoirs are a tricky business.
Violet – RUNNING takes place during his adolescence, but was written first.
Kathy – I don’t rate books on the blog, but I do when I put them into my LibraryThing account. I gave this 3 of 5 stars.
rhapsody – Oh, I’ll look for your review! There were so many passages that could be quoted to show not only examples of writing style, but a small picture of the abuse.
stacy – yes, one day I’ll read RUNNING, then might even rent the movie.
Margot – A little of this genre goes a long way. Back when Oprah had her original book club I felt every book was about sinking to the bottom (and not always rising up again); I had to stopo reading her picks. Thanks for the compliment on my review itself!
Wow, this book sounds kind of depressing!
I read Running With Scissors and didn’t like it very much. It seemed a bit sinister and all the strangeness left a bad taste in my mouth. I had heard about this book, but hadn’t read a review of it until yours. From the excerpts, I am thinking this book might be more of the same from this author, although if possible, this one sounds more distressing.
I’ve read Running with Scissors and watched the movie as well. This book is on my TBR list, and I hope to get to it soon. One thing about the Running with Scissors movie is that it made everything seem so much lighter. I’m not sure that I liked it, but maybe it wouldn’t have translated well into film otherwise.
S.Krishna – very depressing. Augusten is so desparate for his father’s love.
zibilee – I think the POV from a very young child makes it that much more difficult to read. I will (eventually) read RUNNING …
Ashley – I wonder if early feedback showed they needed to tone it down to get a tolerable audience response. I don’t know that WOLF would translate into a movie; there’s no resolution (in my opinion)
I’m a huge Augusten Burroughs fan, and ironically, this is the ONLY book of his I haven’t read. Definitely go back and read “Running with Scissors.” Then he has “Dry,” which documents his alcoholism and rehab (yeah…he ended up having some problems). And then he has a few books of essays that are about his adult life and his partner — pretty amusing in a David Sedaris type of way — they are called “Possible Side Effects” and “Magical Thinking.”
I’ve got to get this one!
Jenners – Maybe I should try POSSIBLE SIDE EFFECTS or MAGICAL THINKING before RUNNING WITH SCISSORS … something with a bit more levity might prove it’s not all doom and gloom!
I was expecting to be depressed, but instead I was just ticked off. The constant whining and over the top self pity fest got on my nerves. I listened to the audio book and found the sound effects and music to be just awful.
Descartes – I imagine the personal connection and emphasis was even more poignant in audio (read by the author!) than in text format. I don’t think I could have listened to the entire book.
I saw an interview with this author where he talks about this book and how his brother doesn’t remember the events the same way that he does. And yet, somehow they are very close.