- The Center of the Universe: A Memoir by Nancy Bachrach
- Hardcover: 256 pages
- Publisher: Knopf (April 28, 2009)
- ISBN-13: 978-0307270900
Back-of-the-book blurb: Nancy Bachrach is living in Paris, selling deodorant to the French, when a freak accident kills her father aboard his cabin cruiser, the aptly dubbed “Mr. Fix It”, in her incongruously named hometown of Providence. Her mother, Lola, the self-proclaimed “center of the universe,” whose medical history reads like the chapter headings of a psychiatric manual, lies in a coma “on death’s waiting list.” Nancy rushes home and sits by her mother’s ventilator—thinking about Sunny von Bülow and eyeing the plug. Thus begins a family reunion with her brother, Ben (a piano prodigy and eventual surgeon who was born with three thumbs), and sister, Helen (the wild child, now an “abnormal psychologist”).
She is Too Fond of Books’ review: The Center of the Universe is not your run-of-the-mill memoir; the style, tone, and content will have you laughing, crying and shaking your head. Nancy Bachrach has a gift for putting the FUN in dysfunctional when she shares her family story.
The memoir is at times flippant and at times emotionally raw, but always brutally honest, to the best of Bachrach’s recollection. It opens when Bachrach receives a phone call from her brother, telling her that their father, Mort, has died and their mother, Lola, is in a “comma” (per the hospital chart at the small rural hospital where she is first treated). On the flight home to Providence, Rhode Island, Bachrach starts her reminiscence of a childhood full of “what the heck” moments; I put myself in her seat and tried to image how I would function upon hearing of one parent’s disability, never mind the double-whammy she was handed.
Bachrach uses a present tense for scenes that take place after the freak boating accident that killed Mort and put Lola in a “comma”; this is incredibly effective – I felt her frustration when dealing with discouraging medical news, her determination to learn all she could about neurological ailments, and her elation at small victories. Scenes set in her childhood are told in the past tense; again, an effective technique to differentiate the flashbacks which set the stage for the current dilemma.
The Center of the Universe was written with the permission and encouragement of Lola, the self-proscribed Center of the Universe. Lola has suffered manic episodes throughout Bachrach’s childhood; on one family drive she tells them she has an announcement to make to Mort, Nancy, her brother (Ben), and sister (Helen) (p9):
She waits until everyone is paying attention. Mort turns off the radio.
“I am the center of the universe,” she says, looking at each of us in turn, making sure we appreciate the significance. “And everyone else is a star revolving around me.”
This is a confession. A revelation. A pronouncement. This is the way of the world.
She is Norma Desmond, descending the staircase in Sunset Boulevard, eyes wide and frozen, getting ready for her close-up. She is Salome, stripping the veil off the face of the cosmos. She is my mother, Lola Hornstein.
And she is crazy.
Bachrach’s internal eulogy to her father is similarly expressed as something of a backhanded compliment (p. 213):
Is there a special afterlife for hapless handymen? Some spot where everything is eternally unfixable, where glue won’t stick and staples won’t hold? If so, Mort is there, deactivated, his only tools the toy screwdriver Ben pitched into his grave and the frayed Mr. Fix It badges from Helen. In my father’s hereafter, spark plugs won’t spark, engines wheeze but won’t start, switches can’t be switched or rewired, and no more damage can be done.
May he rest in peace.
I’ll admit that I was a bit taken aback when I started the memoir and faced Bachrach’s cynical approach to telling the tale. I soon realized that, far from being disrespectful, this was her way of processing and managing the huge shock. The book ebbs and flows in its sarcasm, and is at times quite sweet and daringly introspective; not dark and abrasive like I found Augusten Burroughs’ writing to be.
Although Bachrach touches on her relationships with her father and siblings, it is clearly Lola, the center of the universe, who is the center of this book. The end result is the story of a mother and daughter coming to terms with their past relationship, and finding their way into new roles with each other. Bill Watterson, author of the Calvin & Hobbes comic once said
“Often it takes some calamity to make us live in the present. Then suddenly we wake up and see all the mistakes we have made”
I can’t speak for Nancy Bachrach, but, as a mother (and a daughter), I was gratified to see that this family tragedy led her to seek out the “real” Lola, and to craft the results of this search into a very personal and satisfying memoir. Highly recommended; I’ll look forward to reading more from Nancy Bachrach.
Interviews, an excerpt, upcoming events, and a reader’s guide are available on Nancy Bachrach’s website. The author is book-club-friendly and invites discussion groups to chat with her via speakerphone, dependent on her schedule.
I am thinking I might enjoy this memoir. I was instantly pulled in by the mention of ‘cabin cruiser in Providence’ since we keep our boat in those waters!
Great review! I tend to shy away from writers who are sarcastic, but it sounds like here it is quite effective.
This sounds like how my family reacts to things – I’ve got to check this one out! Thanks for the very entertaining review!
You are the second blog to positively review this book. I like the idea that this woman grieves just a little differently than the average person. Because in reality, everyone deals with death and loss differently, and is refreshing to read.
Care – and I hope you take your boat repairs to a professional (you’ll understand after reading the first 10 pages of the book!)
Amy – this wasn’t the tone for the entire book; Bachrach really had a tough situation to confront, and humor/sarcasm was the vehicle that worked for her.
rhapsody – my family hides their heads like ostriches in the sand!
Sandy – isn’t that the truth – there’s no “right” way to grieve. Where did you see the other review, I’d love to read it.
Hmmm…I don’t shy away from sarcasm normally but the tone of this one doesn’t sound exactly like my cup of tea.
On another note…
I saw your comment about “ostriches in the sand” and all I can say is that I WISH my family had been that way instead of soooo confrontational.
I love sarcasm. I guess I would have a lot in common with this woman…I use it often to process things that happen in my life. I’ll have to give this one a look.
I love a good memoir, so I’m glad to see this is one! It’s in my TBR pile.
I’m not one to use sarcasm to process grief so I’m not sure this would be my thing. It does sound interesting though. Very good review Dawn.
Ti – yeah, Freud would have had a field day with the way we all respond to different stresses in our own way
Serena – I’ve gotten more sarcastic/cynical thanks to my husband’s sense of humor! Unfortunately, our kids have really picked it up and I think they’re a bit young to carry it!
Kathy – Stick with it, you may find it a bit tough to take at first, but she does mellow as developments occur.
Dar – I’d love to hear what the author thinks (since I’m interpreting!) … was this heavy sarcasm a way to distance herself from the immediacy of the shock? I really was a good memoir … very brave!
That looks like such a great book. I have it somewhere in my TBR pile. thanks for the great review as always!
You know, it took me a bit to get over that cynical tone thing, too! I thought she was being pretty harsh about her mother. But, once I understood her tone, I felt much differently about the book.
Good review!
Sheri
One of life’s lessons is that everyone deals with grief in a different way. There are no rules and no standards.
This sounds very far from the typical memoir. I think it sounds like a fascinating book, and one that would keep me laughing and wondering at the same time. I am going to put this on my wish list right now, and hopefully I will be able to read it soon. Great review, you really piqued my interest in this book. Thanks!
This sounds like a great memoir, a little off the beaten track. Thanks for the review.
I love memoirs with an attitude and this sounds like it has it. I’m putting it on my TBR list! Thanks for a great review.
Marie – I’ll look for your thoughts on THE CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE.
Sheri – I just popped over and read your review – we really had a similar take on it, didn’t we??! I love how Nancy Bachrach got to know and accept her mother (would that have ever happened without the accident?)
Beth – so true! Who am I to judge? That “walk a mile in a man’s (woman’s) shoes” is so true!
zibilee – I hope you do get to read it soon … it’s raw, but not sensationalized (a la James Frey), more thoughts and internal reactions …
Carol – that’s definitely true; not a “poor me, look what happened” story.
Jenners – “a memoir with attitude” would be a fantastic book blurb for the paperback version!
I’ve never heard of this book before, but it sounds really interesting. Thanks for the review!
I think it would be so difficult to write a memoir about your family, “warts and all”. It sounds like this one is well done. Thanks for the great review!
Dear Readers,
Thank you all for your comments and for the invitation to reply. I thought Dawn’s review was excellent and balanced, and I appreciated her understanding of what I was trying to say.
The phrases that come across as “cynical” in my memoir, especially in the first chapter, were the actual, unadorned thoughts that went through my mind when I heard the terrible news about my parents’ freak accident. My reaction was part shock, part exasperation, part disbelief and denial. Thurber wrote that humor is chaos in retrospect. I’m glad (in retrospect) that some of these thoughts put “the FUN in dysfunctional,” as Dawn so cleverly wrote. But at the time, I assure you, no one was laughing.
Nancy Bachrach
S. Krishna – I hope that THE CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE becomes more visible, and that we see more of Nancy Bachrach!
Kelly – Yes, I agree – very brave to lay it all out in a truthful way (with no sensationalizing)
Nancy – Thanks so much for your comments. I can’t imagine getting the news you did; your stream-of-consciousness narration was very effective, and it was interesting to see the change of tone as your mother’s (health) situation changed. Best wishes to your entire family; I’m looking forward to reading more from you.