The Hand That First Held Mine by Maggie O’FarrellBack-of-the-book blurb: Lexie Sinclair plans to escape her parents home for London. There, she takes up with a magazine editor who introduces her to the thrilling, underground world of bohemian, post-war Soho. She learns to be a reporter, to know art and artists, to embrace her life fully and with a deep love at the center of it.
Later, in present-day London, a young painter named Elina dizzily navigates the first weeks of motherhood. She doesn’t recognize herself: she finds herself walking outside with no shoes; she goes to the restaurant for lunch at nine in the morning; she can’t recall the small matter of giving birth. But for her boyfriend, Ted, fatherhood is calling up lost memories, with images he cannot place.
As Ted’s memories become more disconcerting and more frequent, it seems that something might connect these two women and their stories.
She is Too Fond of Books’ review: The Hand That First Held Mine opens in the mid-1950s in Britain, near Devon. We meet Alexandra Sinclair, an older daughter in a house too full of younger siblings, who is determined to leave her parents’ home for the allure of London. Age twenty-two, she is a strong-willed and determined young woman, who can hold her own in conversations and in presenting herself with confidence.
Elina Vilkuna, in the present-day storyline, doesn’t come across as such a strong and convicted woman; she is a strongly-written character, but we meet her just after she has nearly died during the birth of her son. In the coming days, weeks, and months, she is all-consumed with motherhood and the physical and mental toll it has taken on her and her relationship with Ted. Maggie O’Farrell nails the total immersion of a new mother, the overwhelming love and fear:
She sits on the sofa, mostly, and breastfeeds. Ted cooks. Ted loads the washing machine. Ted takes the baby out for walks in his pram and then she can sleep. She sleeps in short, snatched bursts – on the sofa, in a chair, in bed if she’s lucky – and these naps are animated by hectic, speedy dreams, most often on the subject of losing the baby or being unable to reach the baby …
It is through backstory that we learn Elina is an artist, a painter. Like Lexie, who has grown into a position as a well-regarded reporter and art critic, Elina is passionate about her art, but realizes her work no longer defines who she is. Her child takes precedence, but she must also find a way to be herself and continue to be lover, friend, and companion to her boyfriend.
The birth of the baby has stirred up some foggy memories for Ted. This isn’t unusual, many of us recall our own childhoods when exploring the world through our child’s eyes. But Ted claims to have no recollection of his life before about age nine; now his own baby’s toys and clothing are sparking images in his mind. Are they true memories, is Ted’s subconscious trying to fill in gaps in his history, or is he having a breakdown of some sort?
The two narratives are overlayed and begin to come together; the reader’s mind, like Ted’s, sees bits and pieces, fleeting images we want to grab and put in place. O’Farrell pulls them together in a way that is not gimmicky, it’s a wonderful piece of fiction which illustrates the universality of their struggles.
Although the visceral bond between mother and child is a strong theme, it is not the only one O’Farrell explores in The Hand That First Held Mine. Lexie and Elina have parallels in the pursuit of their art, the role of the father in the relationship, and that ultimate (but, yes, often over-used and cliched) goal of balance in all areas.
About the author: Maggie O’Farrell was born in Northern Ireland and raised in Scotland and Wales. She is the author of four previous novels, including the acclaimed The Vanishing Act of Esme Lennox. I haven’t yet read her other works, but will be adding her backlist to my wish list; The Hand That First Held Mine spoke to the woman, the mother, and the artist in me – I want to read more of O’Farrell’s art.
In this video, O’Farrell discusses her novel. She calls motherhood “a seismic event” and explains how the London neighborhood of SoHo is a third major character:
FTC Disclosure: review copy provided by the publisher
I’ve been curious about this book ever since I saw that gorgeous cover. I think this is the first review I’ve read and I’m so glad to see the book is good.
I read an ARC of this one a few months ago and really loved it. I thought O’Farrell’s writing was wonderfully sparse and filled with longing, and I found the story utterly riveting. I can’t wait to read more by her!
The combination of your review with the video is pretty hard to resist. I lived and worked in London (not SoHo) for a few months and it is one of the few large cities I’d consider moving to.
I am excited to be reading this book this month. The finished book is just gorgeous. It’s been a while since the presentation has made me so happy just to hold. I’m looking forward to being able to discuss it.
love the cover,makes me want to look inside,Thanks!
Great review, Dawn! I must try out one of her books. I think I have two sitting on my shelves. Don’t know what I’m waiting for!
I have been wondering about this book, and really liked your review. It sounds like something that I would really be interested in. Thanks for the great review, I will be looking for it!
I liked Esme Lennox a lot. I waited a while before reading it though because I feared overhype. I’m glad I waited till the buzz died down a bit. This one sounds good, but I’ll probably wait for the library wait list to mellow out a bit. I thoroughly enjoyed the way O’Farrell intertwined past and present in Esme Lennox and it sounds like there’s a bit of that in this one too.
Kathy – the cover is wonderful! I’ve spent a bit of time studying it, and think that it might represent Lexie at home in Devon, then later in London (or maybe I’m reading too much into it!)
Steph – “filled with longing” – exactly! In one passage, Elina says she tried to talk with Ted about what she was feeling; then he was also ‘lost’ and with a longing …
Beth F – again, I’m envious of your travel! I’ve only connected thru Heathrow, never ventured out of the airport
Literate Housewife – what a nice compliment to the designer, that it made you smile before you even began reading.
nicole – everyone seems struck by the cover!
iliana – “so many books, so little time” … I understand.
zibilee – you and I tend to gravitate to similar books; youll like THE HAND THAT FIRST HELD MINE
SuziQ – I understand what you mean about waiting for the hype to die down. This just came out, so the library wait may give you that time.
I have not been that attracted to this book but the snippet you included does catch my eye and has me wondering if I should investigate a bit further.
I am glad you enjoyed this one, as I do hope to read it some time; liked your review as well; thanks Dawn.
Just finished this recently and really enjoyed it. O’Farrell’s got a unique writing style that works so well. If you’re digging into her backlist, absolutely don’t miss After You’d Gone. It’s one of my favorites of the books I’ve read in the past few years.
Ti – Here’s another snippet, I think the perfect description of breastfeeding:
“The baby is slippery in her grasp, he is puffing and writhing with anxiety, with hunger, she wants nothing more than to lie down, to apologise to Ted, to have this breast drained of its sore, scalding milk, for someone to bring her a drink of water, for someone to tell her it’s going to be alright. The baby is staring at her breast, hesitatin, then his gums clamp down firmly and Elina’s whole body curls with the pain of it. He seems to think for another few seconds and then, at last, he begins to suck, with the absorbed air of someone getting down to business, his eyes moving back and forth, as if reading invisible text in the air.
Diane – I’m eager to read more of her work!
Megan – thanks for the recommendation. I was gravitating toward ESME LENNOX, but will look up AFTER YOU’D GONE as well..
I’ve read both Esme Lennox and After You’d Gone — I loved them both. I’m adding this to my list of things to read.
I just jotted down the title so I won’t forget. I loved the passage you posted. Thanks for the review!
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