Book Review: *The Uncoupling* by Meg Wolitzer

• The Uncoupling by Meg Wolitzer
• Hardcover: 288 pages
• Publisher: Riverhead Hardcover (April 5, 2011)
• ISBN-13: 978-1594487880

Back-of-the-book blurb: When the elliptical new drama teacher at Stellar Plains High School chooses for the school play Lysistrata - the comedy by Aristophanes in which women stop having sex with men in order to end a war – a strange spell seems to be cast over the school. Or, at least, over the women. One by one throughout the high school community, perfectly healthy, normal women and teenage girls turn away from their husbands and boyfriends in the bedroom, for reasons they don’t really understand. As the women worry over their loss of passion, and the men become by turns unhappy, offended, and above all, confused, both sides are forced to look at their shared history, and at their sexual selves in a new light.

She Is Too Fond of Books review: The Uncoupling took me by surprise!  I loved this novel and its three main themes – not just the obvious “sex as a weapon,” but the observations of sexuality at various stages of life, and individual desires/reactions.  Wolitzer explores the reactions of both the women and the men when women’s desires suddenly, unprovoked, run cold.  The attitudes of the men range from bewilderment to anger, from patient lovers looking for solutions to those who feel entitled.

Wolitzer also gives a nod to social media and its impact on our relationships; a simulated world called Forrest engages both adolescents and adults as they each choose the avatar to best represent themselves (or the self they want to present to the world).  Although there’s no discussion of this among the characters, it’s certainly a statement the author is making (not just “filler” representing our plugged in lives).

Lastly, Wolitzer may have a bit of a political agenda, with her subtle comments on the situation in Iraq.

I haven’t read Lysistrata (yes, I now have it on my wish list!), and really appreciated the primer that was woven into the dialogue of Fran Heller as she introduces to her students to the play she has selected for them to perform (heavy ellipses follow):

“Do you know what the name ‘Lysistrata’ means?” … she looked out at them with her hand shielding her eyes as she articulated, “‘She Who Disbands Armies.’”

“At the time that Arisophanes wrote the play, the Peloponnesian War was in its twentieth year,” she said. “Maybe you can relate to the frustration and desperation that the characters feel.  I mean, here they are, citizens of a country that’s in an endless war … a no-win situation … Imagine if there was a new war right now, and your fathers and your boyfriends were all sent away…”

… “How else could women in particular stop a war? How could they change the world?” …

“Maybe you would have to try something ingenious that would really make a statement. Something that would deprive the males of what’s most important to them. And I know you all know what that would be. Because, look, although this is an ancient Greek play, it’s also a strong and hard-hitting and comedic but dead serious piece of art. Some people think of Lysistrata as an important feminist text; other people think it basically mocks women and doesn’t take them seriously at all as potential agents of change. Whatever you happen to think, you’ll find that its themes are still sadly relevant today …”

I really appreciated the satire in Wolitzer’s novel and learned something of myself from it.  No, not to withhold sex to get my way – we never go to bed angry . Here’s what I learned: perhaps Wolitzer’s The 10-Year Nap was also laced with satire that I missed because it hit too close to home.  I wrote in my review of The 10-Year Nap (published 2009) that “Rather than connect with the women in the book, I was disappointed that they considered their time at home with their families to be a nap, a speed-bump that slowed them down on the path to something bigger and better.”  Interesting, isn’t it, that I perhaps understand a bit more about Wolitzer’s writing style (and what does and does not push my buttons) after reading a second novel of hers; I’ll have to revisit her earlier work.

In any case, I highly recommend The Uncoupling; push the limits of your book group discussions by reading Wolitzer’s latest novel and dissecting the many themes she covers.